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Monday, April 26, 2010

Preggo Update - Week 41

Conner:

Size - Conner is about 21 inches long and weighs apx. 7.5 to 8 pounds at 41 weeks!

Activity – Conner has taken semi permanent residence on top of my bladder and is causing some serious pressure that I am not used to feeling. All these new things are good though, they mean we are closer…

Labor signs – Well my hypersensitivity is driving me nuts. I have been on the verge of tears for the past few days and am trying with all my might to not focus on being in labor (or wishing I was). Last night every move I made caused a contraction and I got about 3 hours of sleep. They are not really painful though, which is frustrating because I was under the impression that they should be? My contractions feel like I am being squeezed and it literally takes my breath away. It is mostly in the front and does not feel like some women describe as cramps or back pain. I feel like I am being squeezed by a boa constrictor.

Oh come on little man! You are all done… we are just patiently, or not so much, waiting for your arrival. You are confusing us and making us a little crabby. We just really want to meet you!

Me:
Size – I am the same. I have been getting these ridiculous e-mails from random websites that I signed up for weekly updates on that I feel I need to rant about. A few came the day after my due date that gave me immediate advice on “How to lose the pregnancy weight and get into that two piece by July! “. Ew. I was pretty annoyed by that. So, I am supposed to carry a baby for 10+ months, deliver that baby, recover from delivering that baby while breast feeding and consuming an extra 300+ calories a day, exercise, diet, and have a bikini goal by July? Wow… if only I had known that motherhood would be so difficult! I am not a Kardashian nor am I an ex playboy bunny in desperate need of attention, so much so that I need to fit into a size 6 within a ridiculous, not to mention unhealthy, amount of time. I will not be appearing on the cover of a tabloid in said bikini so I do not appreciate the pressure. I will feel foreign enough in my postpartum body, I do not need my e-mail service to inform me of my upcoming challenges… thank you very much!

What I am wearing – now that I am feeling more and more comfortable in my PJ’s I have actually begun to mix and match them, as fashionably as possible, with each other. I spent a whopping sixteen dollars on a new pair of yoga pants that I really like and they actually are acceptable to wear in public and match some of my maternity tops and jewelry… yay for comfort!

Strange stuff – At this point everything is strange and new to me. I feel new sensations all the time and am learning things that I am grateful to hear. My sister has been so wonderful in keeping it real for me. She had her son almost a year ago (a year already! WOW…) and she has been a godsend with advice and honest sisterly tips that no one else may be comfortable telling me. She keeps it real and makes sure I know what I am in for. She calls me all the time reminding me to do this and to prepare for that and I love it because without her I would be so lost. Love you Kate!!!

Food cravings – lemon ice from Culvers with fresh raspberries. Enough said!

Status of belly button – a outie

What I miss – things are so close now that I am really not missing anything, I am focusing on looking forward to things and seeing how my life will change with Conner and not being pregnant.

In General:
Best movement this week - Well, from about 6pm pretty much through the night Conner is up and at ‘em and is super active. He definitely has his days and nights mixed up so that’s going to be a challenge for us once he arrives.

Most looking forward to – Do I even need to write anything here? Obviously I am looking forward to meeting my Conner and going into labor and not having to get up at 6am every day for work even though I could sleep all day… I cannot wait for the next part of my life to begin… enough of this waiting!

Words to live by – Stay busy! Try as hard as you can to not focus on the fact that you are late and have not given birth and that you feel like you are about to explode from baby and emotion and frustration. I have chosen literature as my escape from reality – even though it seems that every book I pick up has something to do with pregnancy and babies. I have read an entire paper bag full of books… I know they all fit into a paper bag because it is sitting by my front door waiting to be donated. It equals about 40 books in total from the past 4 months. That is an average of 1 book every three days. So I have been trying really hard to keep my mind off of things. I also work every day, take walks with Dave and the dogs, help Dave with dinner, keep the house clean, laundry, hang out with my sister and my nephew, garden as much as I can, and go to my doctor’s appointments. I am doing OK, I could be doing more, but that would require actually getting dressed and putting on makeup so that is out of the question.

Milestones - I have not gone completely insane yet… so I think that is an accomplishment. I haven’t started to cry too much and I can keep my mind on task most of the time. I am to the point now where I understand that my son will be a late arrival and I just have to deal with it. I also understand that I have every right to complain and whine about once in awhile because I can and it makes me feel better… soon I will have my son… soon.

Peace,
Pinner

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Preggo Update - Week 40

Conner:

Size - Conner is about 21 inches long and weighs apx. 7.5 to 8 pounds at 40 weeks!

Activity – I think Conner has finally dropped a little and is still active as ever. He is really quiet in the mornings and early afternoons and starts moving around in there a lot in the late afternoons and evenings. At night, after dinner and our daily walk, he is so active – more active than he ever has been… he must like the activity.

Labor signs – As far as this goes, it has been hit or miss, mostly miss. I have been having contractions every night, all night, for about a week. I get them during the day too, but they are much stronger and longer in the evenings. On Sunday night, I had a few in a row that made me think that that was it, but they stopped. It felt awesome… as I am so anxious. It felt like a tightening that wrapped around my belly into my back. I had three in fifteen minutes, they painful ones stopped, and that was it for the night. I was a little disappointed.

As far as Conner goes he is ready to go! These last few days are mostly him soaking up as many nutrients as he can to continue to be healthy outside of the womb, growing a little more, and developing that genius brain that he inherited from his parents. He is the son now that he will be when I hold him in my arms… soon.

Me:
Size – Same size for me. I measured at 40cm last week at my midwife appointment, which is right on task for my due date. I was lucky to not get too enormous and I stayed on track size wise throughout my pregnancy. Now I look back and realize how much I have changed physically and it is a little daunting knowing it will be an equally difficult journey to get back to the woman that I was before my pregnancy. I am looking forward mostly to losing the water weight that I have been carrying around. I really miss my hands and feet and ankles and face. I know that may sound strange, but these things are unrecognizable to me and I liked what I looked like, and I miss it. Soon… very soon…

What I am wearing – I have pretty much been sticking to whatever isn’t too tight on me at this point. I have not actually purchased anything new in weeks, knowing that it would be pointless and silly to buy for a body I won’t be in soon. I did have a bit of a break today though and browsed through the sundresses on a few of my favorite websites. It felt great to not have to specify “maternity” in my search. I really am looking forward to summer dresses… they are my favorite thing. You can wear them with confidence knowing that they will do their best to cover anything up that you may be nervous about. I currently own about ten sundresses from mini to maxi, and cannot wait to buy more. I am just excited to be comfortable again!

Strange stuff – I have nothing really to repot here except that I am feeling strange all the time and am still hypersensitive to anything going on that I haven’t felt before. I am so anxious for labor to begin that I think about constantly. I know that I need to occupy my mind with other things, and I try, but it has been a challenge. Everyone keeps telling me that once I stop worrying and thinking about it so much, it will just happen… but that leads me to thinking about not thinking about it and then I am right back to where I started. It has been kind of funny too, because I purposefully stopped reading baby books and watching birth videos on YouTube… but it seems I cannot get away. I have been averaging about 2-3 novels a week – in an attempt to distract myself – and it seems that no matter what book I choose, pregnancy and babies seem to weave their way into the story. Oh well… it will happen when it happens. There is not a whole lot I can do about all of that I suppose. I will just keep doing what I am doing and Conner will come when he feels ready.

Food cravings – water… water… water. I have this unquenchable thirst and all I want is to drink water!

Status of belly button – a outie!

What I miss –sitting with my legs crossed, summer dresses, espadrilles, painted toenails, being able to work in the garden for more than fifteen minutes at a time, and wine

In General:
Best movement this week – Conner is playing banjo with the long ligaments that have stretched to accommodate my growing body. It kills! He doesn’t mean to do it, but every time he knocks up against one it leaves me bending over in pain. It is not labor pain, it is more like a sharp stabbing pain that takes a minute to go away. It is awful and happens about twice a day. Little stinker…

Most looking forward to – LABOR! You know, at this point I am so ready. I thought for so many weeks that this week would never come and I would be pregnant forever and that I would have a hard time envisioning myself actually going thought the motions. Nope. I am so ready, and as I said last week – BRING IT ON! I remember thinking to myself – “OK, now I am going to want to wear this outfit when I go into the hospital, I want this bra, and my hair done this certain way. I am going to want to make sure to shave and whiten my teeth. I need to remember my camera, and my boppy, and blah blah blah blah blah… “. Yeah, no. I don’t even care anymore. I will be in labor and having my baby and that is really all I want at this point. All of those extra things would be nice to have, but they are not necessary. I just want to get through the hard part and come home with my Conner.

Words to live by – People will bug the crap out of you the last few days before and I am sure after your due date. You will get phone calls, you will receive e-mails and text messages and more phone calls… your face book page will be full of inquiries about whether or not you have had your baby. Take it in stride. Know that the people that are asking you are so excited for you, they mean well, and they have no idea that fifty other people are asking you the same thing. I spoke with my mom last night and she was saying how she didn’t want to bug me because she knew that everyone else was, and I told her that was silly and I missed our almost daily phone calls and it was sweet that she was thinking of me. Really, everyone has been awesome and so thoughtful and really if they have had babies of their own may not remember how hard those last few days can be before he comes. Don’t let it stress you out and try to take each inquiry in stride and remember the person asking and know that they care and are looking out for you. That and sometimes asking is required as some need to make travel arrangements… 

Milestones – I have reached my mark. 4o weeks is a LONG ASS TIME to be pregnant and I did it! I am pretty proud of myself if I don’t say so myself. I am not going to sit here and say it was easy nor am I going to say it was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was tough at times, but mostly it just became a part of me that I embraced and made a part of my life. Pregnancy has changed me though, I will say that. I have been able to do so many things that I never thought I could do. Things from quitting smoking and drinking, learning how to be a better spouse, taking each day at a time, slowing down and not putting so much pressure on myself, learning that being the prettiest girl in the room is not that important, and knowing that I grew a child from two cells into an entire living breathing healthy little person… these are things that I did not know I was completely capable of. There are more, but I will keep those to myself as they are private and require a little more practice.

Peace,
Pinner

Monday, April 12, 2010

Preggo Update - Week 39


Conner:
Size - Conner is about 21 inches long and weighs apx. 7.5 to 8 pounds at 39 weeks!

Activity – Conner is still an active little man, at least as much as he can be at this point. There isn’t a whole lot of room in there for him, but his movements are really noticeable. His favorite position is laying on his right side and moving his arm up and down my belly. He licks once in awhile, but mostly when he is startled.

Labor signs – I had been seriously thinking I was in labor all weekend… but I was not. I was having contractions all day Friday Saturday and Sunday and thought Sunday night was it. My back was really sore, I was feeling a lot of pressure, contractions every ten minutes, and a slight crampy feeling but woke up this morning feeling great. So false alarm and glad I stayed home and slept instead of up all night worrying.

Conner is really just hanging around waiting for things to start happening. He is all set and ready to go and pretty much just plumping up a little more and probably just getting cuter and cuter as each day goes by.

Me:
Size – I am huge… I feel like my legs resemble tree trunks, I refuse to wear cropped anything because I am now officially a person with cankles, my face is not my own, and when I wake up in the morning my hands hurt so bad I can barely make a fist. Oh yeah, and totally pissed – I got my first stretch mark on my belly this week. I went for so long and was so close. I can’t believe it. OK… so I am complaining a little. I think I have been good enough that I can do that at this point. I hate to complain – I have even written about it, but I can’t help it. I feel like a stranger of sorts in this body. I know that the end is near, and that is really helping my self esteem… that and I just don’t leave the house. My husband tells me I am beautiful and I am just going to ride that until I have this baby.

What I am wearing – thinking about what to write here makes me kinda laugh a little. I go through my closet and see nothing that looks comfortable. I tried a sarong yesterday and that lasted about an hour as the darn thing would not stay closed and it was windy outside. I have even ventured out into public in my PJ pants (something that up until this point in my pregnancy and most of my adult life have considered a “fashion crime”). But who cares… it is just the grocery store, right?! Anyway, I have kind of given up on looking good. I am looking forward to losing the water weight and maybe then I will start thinking about my outward appearance more. For now, I am focusing on the inside and staying positive and healthy.

Strange stuff – I am super sensitive to any pain I feel… thinking that every little feeling could be me going into labor, and I have become very good at disappointing myself. I feel at this point like screaming “BRING IT ON!”… I am so ready for whatever this labor brings me. I just want to be done. I am almost hoping for the pain, hoping for something to happen that means things are progressing into something more.

Food cravings – Donuts, fruit, water, and anything that will help me go into labor.

Status of belly button – a visible outie!

What I miss –being able to garden, bending over, wine, clothes that do not leave indents on my skin, energy, my friends, painless nights, ankles, and tank tops that do not make me look like an egg. (I think I look like humpy dumpty)

In General:
Best movement this week – Conner is a lot lower this week so everything has shifted. I can feel his head now – something I never have been able to – and I can breathe a little easier.

Most looking forward to - Telling my husband that I am in labor for sure… or trying to figure out if I am together. I think he is as anxious as I am and really wants things to start happening too, so it will be quite the moment for us.

Words to live by – Talk talk talk talk talk to someone about everything you are feeling. Don’t let your pride or embarrassment or whatever get in the way of venting. My most embarrassing moment was a midwife appointment that I had two weeks ago. I was sitting in the doctor’s office with Dave and was having one of those – my clothes don’t fit, my skin looks like crap, my hair sucks, and I am crabby – days and I was just down in the dumps. I was trying to pretend everything was fine and dandy when it wasn’t. Dave finally asked me if I was OK and I lost it, right there in the doctor’s office. It was just he and I at this point and when the midwife came in I was a blubbering mess. Crying and embarrassed I lied about why I was crying and told her I stubbed my toe… sitting down. Yeah, she saw through that one pretty quick. I told her I was just so frustrated and tired and missed my old self. It helped to talk about it a little and they were both very sympathetic and understanding. I later talked to Dave about it and he told me to stop holding it all in – I am not perfect - and that if I need to complain or vent or whatever, that’s why he is there. So take my advice and don’t hold it in. Find someone who will be real with you and listen to you. Needless to say, I got ice cream that day for my “breakthrough”. Told you I was a lucky duck!

Milestones – I can see my due date on the ten date weather forecast. That is really weird. That and I can say that I am due in ten days. I remember filling out my little day planner and writing in my due date and thinking how far away it felt. Now we are in the month my son will be born and it is all real and really happening and I will be a mom and my husband a dad and we will have this kid and our lives will change forever and we will be OK. Phew… it is a lot to think about and I am scared as hell and excited and nervous and confident too. It may not make sense that I am all of these things, but I am. I am just so consumed by all of these feelings that my brain doesn’t have room to go anywhere else. The one thing I know for sure though is that it will all happen a certain way for a certain reason and everything will be alright.

Peace,

Pinner

Friday, April 2, 2010

Preggo Update - Week 37 and 38

Conner:

Size - Conner is about 20 inches long and weighs apx. 7 pounds at the beginning of 37 weeks!

Activity – Things are becoming a bit cramped in there for the little man. He is still very active but has limited movement.

Labor signs – Lots of contractions the last few days. Nothing patterned but they are getting stronger and longer. Last week the doc said Conner was a lot lower and I was softening, so the contractions are doing their job. No dilation as of yet, but I go in again Monday, so we’ll see. I keep hoping that the next time I go in, they make me stay!

As far as Conner is concerned, he is just enjoying the last few weeks of his comfy little home and waiting for the big day. He is about a pound less now than he will be at birth and he is fully developed and 100% viable. He is the baby he will be when we meet for the first time.

Me:
Size – I pretty much feel like a house. I haven’t gained a lot of weight the past few weeks, but between my belly expanding, the swelling in my hands face and ankles, and Conner getting bigger, I feel like a whale. I am sure that it will all be better soon, but man it has been a rough few weeks.

What I am wearing – This really doesn’t matter anymore at all… honestly, if I could walk around naked all day I would be really comfortable – but no one wants to see that so I pretty much stick to PJ’s and comfortable clothes that aren’t too tight and that I can move around in easily.

Strange stuff – Nothing too weird this week except for feeling like I have been hit by a Mack truck and I am so tired that I feel I could sleep for days. I have been really emotional and cry at the dumbest things. I am trying to hang in there and stay positive and patient, but with the due date being so close I am having a bit of a hard time.

Food cravings – Ice cream, pineapple, anything juicy, water

Status of belly button – a visible outie now!

What I miss – not being pregnant…. Not that I can remember what that feels like!

In General:Best movement this week – He sticks his whole butt out and moves from side to side. It kinda hurts a little, but reminds me of how big he is and how close we are to meeting.

Most looking forward to – knowing I am in labor for sure. I have had contractions on and off the for the last couple of weeks and am really looking forward to knowing that things are starting.

Words to live by – Let people help you. People want to help you. You will appreciate it. The more you do the worse you will feel. I have a hard time letting go, but I have been pleasantly surprised letting Dave take the reigns and he has done so much to make me comfortable and keep me calm. My sister and brother, moms and dad – they have all chipped in to make my life easier knowing that I have a hard time doing things by myself. I could not be more grateful.

Milestones – Less than 20 days… I don’t even know what to say. It has been an interesting ride these past 10 months, and I am eagerly awaiting the end now that it is in sight. Oh yeah and Stretch marks ZERO Jenny ONE! My belly is fully intact without any blemishes or stripes… whoop whoop!!!

All I can really say at this point is COME ON BABY! I am so ready to be done and I do not feel bad about saying that. I have been the model pregnant girl for 10 months and I want to meet my son and get back to normal. There are a lot of things that I miss and there are a lot of things coming up that I cannot wait for so I am ready as I will ever be…

Peace,
Pinner
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