Monday, April 12, 2010
Preggo Update - Week 39
Size - Conner is about 21 inches long and weighs apx. 7.5 to 8 pounds at 39 weeks!
Activity – Conner is still an active little man, at least as much as he can be at this point. There isn’t a whole lot of room in there for him, but his movements are really noticeable. His favorite position is laying on his right side and moving his arm up and down my belly. He licks once in awhile, but mostly when he is startled.
Labor signs – I had been seriously thinking I was in labor all weekend… but I was not. I was having contractions all day Friday Saturday and Sunday and thought Sunday night was it. My back was really sore, I was feeling a lot of pressure, contractions every ten minutes, and a slight crampy feeling but woke up this morning feeling great. So false alarm and glad I stayed home and slept instead of up all night worrying.
Conner is really just hanging around waiting for things to start happening. He is all set and ready to go and pretty much just plumping up a little more and probably just getting cuter and cuter as each day goes by.
Size – I am huge… I feel like my legs resemble tree trunks, I refuse to wear cropped anything because I am now officially a person with cankles, my face is not my own, and when I wake up in the morning my hands hurt so bad I can barely make a fist. Oh yeah, and totally pissed – I got my first stretch mark on my belly this week. I went for so long and was so close. I can’t believe it. OK… so I am complaining a little. I think I have been good enough that I can do that at this point. I hate to complain – I have even written about it, but I can’t help it. I feel like a stranger of sorts in this body. I know that the end is near, and that is really helping my self esteem… that and I just don’t leave the house. My husband tells me I am beautiful and I am just going to ride that until I have this baby.
What I am wearing – thinking about what to write here makes me kinda laugh a little. I go through my closet and see nothing that looks comfortable. I tried a sarong yesterday and that lasted about an hour as the darn thing would not stay closed and it was windy outside. I have even ventured out into public in my PJ pants (something that up until this point in my pregnancy and most of my adult life have considered a “fashion crime”). But who cares… it is just the grocery store, right?! Anyway, I have kind of given up on looking good. I am looking forward to losing the water weight and maybe then I will start thinking about my outward appearance more. For now, I am focusing on the inside and staying positive and healthy.
Strange stuff – I am super sensitive to any pain I feel… thinking that every little feeling could be me going into labor, and I have become very good at disappointing myself. I feel at this point like screaming “BRING IT ON!”… I am so ready for whatever this labor brings me. I just want to be done. I am almost hoping for the pain, hoping for something to happen that means things are progressing into something more.
Food cravings – Donuts, fruit, water, and anything that will help me go into labor.
Status of belly button – a visible outie!
What I miss –being able to garden, bending over, wine, clothes that do not leave indents on my skin, energy, my friends, painless nights, ankles, and tank tops that do not make me look like an egg. (I think I look like humpy dumpty)
Best movement this week – Conner is a lot lower this week so everything has shifted. I can feel his head now – something I never have been able to – and I can breathe a little easier.
Most looking forward to - Telling my husband that I am in labor for sure… or trying to figure out if I am together. I think he is as anxious as I am and really wants things to start happening too, so it will be quite the moment for us.
Words to live by – Talk talk talk talk talk to someone about everything you are feeling. Don’t let your pride or embarrassment or whatever get in the way of venting. My most embarrassing moment was a midwife appointment that I had two weeks ago. I was sitting in the doctor’s office with Dave and was having one of those – my clothes don’t fit, my skin looks like crap, my hair sucks, and I am crabby – days and I was just down in the dumps. I was trying to pretend everything was fine and dandy when it wasn’t. Dave finally asked me if I was OK and I lost it, right there in the doctor’s office. It was just he and I at this point and when the midwife came in I was a blubbering mess. Crying and embarrassed I lied about why I was crying and told her I stubbed my toe… sitting down. Yeah, she saw through that one pretty quick. I told her I was just so frustrated and tired and missed my old self. It helped to talk about it a little and they were both very sympathetic and understanding. I later talked to Dave about it and he told me to stop holding it all in – I am not perfect - and that if I need to complain or vent or whatever, that’s why he is there. So take my advice and don’t hold it in. Find someone who will be real with you and listen to you. Needless to say, I got ice cream that day for my “breakthrough”. Told you I was a lucky duck!
Milestones – I can see my due date on the ten date weather forecast. That is really weird. That and I can say that I am due in ten days. I remember filling out my little day planner and writing in my due date and thinking how far away it felt. Now we are in the month my son will be born and it is all real and really happening and I will be a mom and my husband a dad and we will have this kid and our lives will change forever and we will be OK. Phew… it is a lot to think about and I am scared as hell and excited and nervous and confident too. It may not make sense that I am all of these things, but I am. I am just so consumed by all of these feelings that my brain doesn’t have room to go anywhere else. The one thing I know for sure though is that it will all happen a certain way for a certain reason and everything will be alright.